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Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Because We all Need a Little Cheering Up Now and Then So I have two PATs down and two more to go. I did pretty well on my Math PAT..I got an 86%, which I was really happy about because I was expecting to get like...a 60. Because on the last test we had...or, no, the second last test..on trig - I completely bombed. I haven't been doing too well on my math tests all year, really. So I'm really glad that I did well on my final. I found the social test kind of hard, though. Well..some questions weren't that bad but some I was really stuck on. I could narrow it down to two and then after that I was lost. But...whatever. It's over with and there's nothing I can do about it so there is no use worrying. Listen to me, being all anti-worrying. (hah) It is way too bizarre. Yesterday, my friends V and Carmen came over and we were studying for social, and V was stressing out over it and I tried to, like, reassure her and stuff. I pretty much told her all of the same things that my parents are always telling me, about how the payoff for working hard all year is not having to stress over finals, etc. etc. etc. And Carmen just looked at V and was like, "Listen to her - can you believe it? She's like, the 'advice-giver' now. She's usually so worried." And she was right - I wasn't that worried. I mean, I always get nervous and I don't think that will ever completely go away but...compared to the head case that I have been known to be in the past, I am a lot different now...more relaxed, even it it is only a little bit more relaxed. It is sometimes weird to get used to. Everytime somebody brings home the mail in my house, my heart starts beating really fast and it feels like there is something with wings sitting in my throat, and it is flapping them really hard. Even though I know that it is still too early for my Cheremosh letter to be here. I am so excited. And so scared out of my mind. Summer is like...here. (even though I still have two exams left..it doesn't really count because I am only at school for two hours) The year went by so fast. I say that every year, but I really really mean it more that ever this year. But instead of looking forward to it like I usually do, I am kind of not ready for it this time. Thinking about it is depressing. Summer feels lonely this year. I hate that feeling that you get sometimes where you are so happy and so sad at the same time that you feel like a big lump of nothing who can't even move, and you don't even want to move anyway because you are not sure which direction you will go in and you are kind of scared to find out. Hailey spazzed at 12:06:00 p.m. ***
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