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Friday, March 26, 2004
Because the World Owes me Nothing It's been awhile since I've done any updating - things have been kind of hectic lately, with exams and stuff being squeezed in before Spring Break, so I've been a bit of a head case and definetly in no condition to write anything that I wouldn't feel completely humiliated about the next day. Not that I am in some kind of "condition" to begin with, but I've been kind of stressed and worried and throw-up-y and anything I would have written would have come out in a big mess. But now I'm feeling (I hate that word. I use it loads, but I can't stand it) significantly better, as Spring Break is finally here and I have absolutely no homework. I don't even want to think about school - if I do, I know I won't be able to enjoy this break for what it is. Dancing has been kindofalittlebitnotquitesobad. There was, like, a week where everything was really good, but lately I've been getting really nervous again. It's not as bad as before, though - I don't get as freaked out during class as I used to, but I still get really really scared before. This is so completely stupidretardedterriblehorriblenogoodverybad. It doesn't even make sense, really. I need a personality transplant, I think. My birthday is coming up - it's on Tuesday next week. I don't think I'm going to do anything special. It would probably end up being more of a hassle than it's worth. I don't know...I really don't feel like doing anything. Normally I'd be getting all stressed out and pouty because I want a party but there's no time for a party or some other stupid thing but really this year I would rather just not and say we did. It's late - I'm sitting around icing my shin splints (ow, ow, ow - that'll teach me to practise my trio on a concrete floor.) and listening to Ani Difranco (weird..but usually a good weird. Her lyrics are better than the acctual music, though) I'm getting tired...and I'm really sore. I think going to sleep would be a good plan right about now. Hailey spazzed at 12:41:00 a.m. ***
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